so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
