Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i out mim tonsoeep
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