Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
