i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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