Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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