I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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