I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I will be naked everywhere
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
