I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
