So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
