found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
