So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
