We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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