I swear she didn't look like that last week.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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