Grow some girl-balls and come out already
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
