i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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