Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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