Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize
