u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
