I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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