Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
