Already got asked if we're dating
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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