I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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