she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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