do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
