those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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