4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
At least life still wants to fuck me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
