Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
