We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
should my penis look like a turkey
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
