i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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