It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
