she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
