Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
