In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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