kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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