what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
