woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
