omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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