Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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