cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
