My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
