ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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