Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
