Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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