Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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