Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
why do cheetos always look like penises
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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