i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
