I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
