Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
