She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he fucked my hip out of place.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
