the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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