Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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