We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
