Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
