Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
