i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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