Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
