508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
